Cortez History
The Official Website of Mr. Cortez
Vista Heights Middle School
2011 East Coast Tour
Announcements
- Softball every Tuesday at 2nd lunch... bring your glove!
- Bible Study is every Monday during second lunch, in Mrs. Hoffman's classroom. Bring your Bible.
- Watch Huell Howser every night at 7:30 on KCET... my favorite show!
Visit Me on YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook!
CortezHistory Poll
Tweets
Upcoming Events
Lame Jokes
Q. What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he lost his job?
A. Oh snap!
Q. Why did the man dump ground beef on his head?
A. Because he wanted a meatier shower!
Site Visits
Chuck Norris Facts
Sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once won the title of Iron Chef by cooking Instant Ramen Noodles!
Chuck Norris doesn't have to worry about keeping up with the Kardashians... he knows where they are at all times.
In Chuck Norris' wallet he keeps a photograph...of his wallet.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
Those are not credits that roll at the end of Walker, Texas Ranger... those are fatalities that occurred during filming!
Chuck Norris can kick you with a punch.
Unlike a heart, Chuck Norris never stops beating.
Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number... you answer the wrong phone.
Chuck Norris's email address is Yahoo@ChuckNorris.com
